A lot of people ask, "Well how does Presley feel about all this?" and that's a great question. I mean, she was the only child till she was almost 6 years old. She had her Mommy and Daddy to her self 100% of the time. When we started fostering, she would find herself somewhere between being an only child to having a sibling, maybe for a week, a month or however long. Then in a days notice it may go back to being only Presley. Well, I can tell you how Presley feels about fostering and adopting...she feels the same way we do. She and John usually fuss over who gets to say the prayer at supper. Presley wins out about 3/4 of the time and when she does, she always prays, "And thank you for giving us Michelle." She's always remembered other kids in her prayers, but I can't say she's ever thanked God for giving us a particular child-except for maybe Addy or John. "Thank you for giving us Michelle." The first night she prayed that, I was wondering how Michelle would feel about that. I wondered where she came up with that phrase, "giving us" a kid. And then I thought about it one night, and it dawned on me that I always tell them they are gifts from God. They are. I hate John and Addy and Michelle and any other kid I've had, have had to experience the pain and loss they've suffered in their past. Sometimes fostering gives you a stomach ache. Sometimes fostering kids hurts me. When I see the pain an adult has caused a child. When I feel the anquish of a child being seperated from a sibling, it hurts. Thankfuly Addy was only a baby and maybe won't remember quite as much. John has a clear memory. Michelle has a very clear understanding of her past and her hurt is even beyond what biological parents did to her. Sure they started the trend for her, but her pain has been a domino effect for a child that just seems to keep catching the crap in life.
I know some people, considering adoption or maybe fostering children, may wonder if they could ever truly love a child that was not biological. Could they really feel all the emotions and love that they would with a bilogical child? And I can assure you, beyond a doubt, YES YOU CAN!!! I love Presley more than anything in the whole world. And I love John more than anything in the whole world. And I love Addison more than anything in the whole world! Sometimes, I forget that I didn't actually give birth to Addy. At work, at the Police Department, I have often said that if I were to take a polygraph test and be asked if I gave birth to Addison, and I answered yes, I bet I would pass the test!! I mean the love and the emotions and the feelings are there and I really do forget sometimes. Even with John, and we've had him for almost 4 years, I think I could convince a polygraph test that I gave birth to him too. Of course none of it matters and I'm just making a point. But you do wish that your kids had never suffered that way they did. You do wish there was a way to go back in time and change things. And then you begin to think, where was I? Where was God? I know where God was. He was busy making me and David the exact parents John and Addison would need in their season. He had a plan. He had the perfect solution to a world full of imperfect ideals. Children were never supposed to be abandoned and discarded, either in the woods or in their own bedroom or a DHS office. They were supposed to be loved and cherished and God knew that when the bio-parents failed, me and David would step up. He handed us each child as a gift. Presley, Addy and John were all gifts that I really picture as wrapped up boxes and God handing them to us, one at a time, "Here. This one's for y'all."
Lol, I still have their "wrapping" each one came in too. For Presley it was a cute little pink overall outfit her Daddy bought here when we got our first ultrasound that said we were having a girl. For Addy it was a little green dress her former foster parents dressed her in and it was stained from one of her medications she was on at the time. And for John....it's a boys size medium,red t shirt of Harry Potter. We unwrapped 3 perfect gifts and I thank God everynight and day. These girfts are why Mama's and Daddy's never want another Christmas gift or a birthday gift, cause we already have our gifts. And as Presley says, "Thank you God for giving us Michelle (too)"
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