It's been a crazy last few weeks and we haven't even had any foster kids! 

We spent a long weekend in Boston recently, first for the memorial service of David's beloved Grandmother, Collette Philpott.  Secondly, since we had to be up there anyway, we treated ourselves to the beautiful Boston Harbor Hotel!  And what a treat it was!  Almost like  second honeymoon, since the kids stayed in Arkansas with Nana!  Also, while there, we visited with some of David's family, an Aunt and Uncle and a couple cousins.  We had a really nice time. 

We got back home, and our Realtor, wonderful lady that she is, Kathi Merritt (lol) has sold our personal home-which is a good thing.  Since David is a builder, the last 4 houses we have lived in, we have "flipped."  Which means, we purchase them cheaper than the appraisal value, make repairs and upgradesw while we live in them and then we sell them at a profit.  This is small way we earn a living.  And now we have sold our current house and are in the process of finding that next "fixer upper."  And we may have found it.  A larger house that would allow our family plenty of room as well as the extra foster kid we take from time to time. Actually, this house would allow us to take a sibling group of two, as they could share a room together and our kids would have their own space-which has a been a compromise before. Please keep our family in your thoughts and prayers. So all this has added to the craziness...

But, here's what I want to talk about:  I want to talk about Adopted kids vs biological kids and whats "normal."  First of all, I think we would all be in agreement that normal, kind of like beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.  For instance, for my kids, it's normal (eek!) to move every 3-4 years.  For some kids, they live in the same house all their lives and then only move to go to college.  My kids think its normal to have a working Mom.  Other kids might find it odd that Mom doesn't work from home.  My point is, there is only the normal that your perceive. 
When we first began talking about adoption to our friends and family, we had a lot of prayers going up, I know.  Everyone has an opinion on adoption.  Then when we said we wanted to adopt an older child-well, even the ones that had been realtivly positive about the choice became quite negative. "You never know what you're getting."  "What if..." and so much more.  Luckily, at the time, we had a close friend that was having all kinds of trouble with her biological teenage son.  He was into everyting.  Drugs, bad crowd, in troublde with the law, just everything.  It seemed he was on the path to total self destruction.  We felt as if any day we would get a call that he had been killed.  Talk about turmoil!  But he was biological!! He has a perfect Mother!  Divorced from Dad, but under no choice of her own.  She did everything right, yet this precious boy we had all known was living recklessly.  I used to think he was acting a lot like my bio-Dad-who was ADOPTED!  Quickly, I came to see, bio kids, adopted kids, it makes no difference.  Kids are kids.  You do absolutly all you can and teach them the way of the Lord; sometimes tho...Life takes over.  So we kept with the theory that we would give it a shot and do our best.  We would have to see for ourselves!  Plus, we had the experience of having a bio child first, so having any kids in our home, we at least had experience. 
I'm glad we did things that way.  So many times with Presley, she will do something, maybe argue or sass or disobey alltogehter, and we'll punish her or discipline as appropriate.  But I'll think in my head, if she had been adopted, would I have handled this different?  Would I have wrote this behavior off as "well she is adopted?"  Would I have excused the behavior?  Would anything be different?  Enstead, because she is biological, it's easy for me to discipline and then think, "she is just like me!" or, "she gets that from David!"  Or whatever the excuse might be.
With adopted kids, I have sort of platform to work with.  When Addy is playing outside with neighbor kids and doesn't want to come in to use the bathroom and has an accident...I don't think, "O my gosh! she's adopted!  What does this mean-she peed her pants??"   lol, I just think, "she was too busy to pee!" Or if she or John sass me or disobey, I can discern what is normal "pushing the limits" or what could be an issue that may need counseling to resolve.  And let me say here, one example is no need to run to the counselor! 
I have a dear friend that adopted two little babies from another country.  They had no bio children to begin with and it seems every little thing her kids do now, she questions.  'Do normal 5 year olds throw tantrums?' 'Should my toddler cling to me?' 'My daughter has to argue with everyting I say!' Things that seem so normal, if not agt least challenging to me, may be harder on a parent that has never parented before.
Then I've heard the sad stories...there's one of some parents that adopted a 3 year old out of foster care.  But when he stuck a bean up his 5 year old (adopted) sisters nose, they returned him to foster care-for fear of their daughters life! 
Another one I heard recently, a little boy was being adopted in to a home with older siblings.  He had suffered great physical abuse, but had to be returned to care because the family was unable to discipline him and he was "out of control."
These kids really do just need love and structure.  I encourage all foster parents and adoptive parents to find a support system.  A group that can help you in many different ways.  In White County we have a Foster Parents Association that offeres support and services to the families in our counties.  And lets not forget the real Child Rearing Handbook-the Bible.  Proverbs 22:6 is very specific; "Train up a child in the way they should go and when they are old, they will not depart."  I know this to be fact. That friends child I mentioned earlier?  He is now in Law School studying to be a lawyer!  More importantly, he is clean and Goldly! 
So, if you are an adoptive parent, foster parent, whatever, number one I would say, read the instruction manual-the Bible.  It's all in there. And don't second guess yourself.  We all make mistakes. You're doing fine. 
I would also say, it is very important to find a good, christian counselor.  Someone with experience.  A good christian counselor will have a Godly basis for what they do and say. In Searcy, I recommend Families INC and I can recommend counselors too. 



...the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity...

Boy this heat is about to wear me out! 104 today and 107 tomorrow-that's hot even for Arkansas! 

Well, I think I said in the very beginning of this blog and I know I've said it before, but sometimes that little thing a lot of people were born with, that thing that lets you censor what you say and makes you say the right things...well, I didn't get one of those.  Sometimes, I say the wrong thing at the wrong time, or the right thing but in the wrong way.  This past week, I said something that I still say was the right thing, but totally in the wrong way!  The worst part of it, is I offended some people that I care very much about and I would never want to hurt them intentionally! Since I said it on Facebook, I apologized on Facebook.  Facebook can get a lot of people in trouble, because you can't read intent or deliverance.  At this point it doesn't matter what I said, but, I had some great people call me on it.  All that said something questioned my motive, but did so with love.  In fact, my brother in law was quick to site one of his favorite Bible verses, James 3:5-6, "Even so the tongue is a little member and boasts great things.  See how great a forest a little fire kindles.  And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity..."  A great reminder that my tongue can and does get me in trouble! It's been like this since I was a kid and I would say it's an inherited trait, as many in our family posses this trait! :)  However, that is not an excuse and as I would tell my kids, in my sternest Mommy voice, "If you know it's a problem, than you should be even more careful to guard yourself!"  I messed up. I was inconsiderate.  Then the mail came....

In the mail that day was my Thriving Family magazine, a Focus on the Family publication that we enjoy about every other month.  And what do you think there was an article about?  Being considerate of every body's feelings.  Basically, keeping your mouth (and Facebook) shut!  If you don't have anything nice to say...I think the headline actually read: LOLA!  THIS IS FOR YOU!  Maybe not exactly, but close enough.  I got the point.  The article had a really cool exercise for kids to do to teach this lesson.  To bring it home.  I decided to do it that night! 

That evening, I told the kids what I had done.  One of 'em even said, "Mom that ain't nothin'.  You always say stuff; it doesn't mean  you mean anything by it!"  (ouch!) But that's my point.  I told them we should always be careful of the things we do and say because it can be taken the wrong way or it can hurt someone.  It doesn't matter if I thought it was a "vent" or a "rant" the point is, I possibly hurt some people that I care about. 

We each put a raw egg in a small brown paper bag and had to carry it around for an hour.  The egg represented "feelings" and the point was to be careful and not break or damage the egg.  Now, for Addy, I had to modify this a little.  There's a not a point big enough to prove to send a 4 year old around the house with a raw egg!  Sorry!  Her egg was confined the living room and dining room. Anyways, the rest of us carried the egg in the bag and we all made some really good observations. 

It was difficult for me to go about my usual afternoon of cooking and cleaning, while hanging on to (an egg) someones feelings.  I had to think about what was in my other hand and had to be careful not to bang it on things if I got in a hurry.  John said it was hard because he just kept wanting to put it down. Isn't that a little like ignoring others feelings and just acting like their not there? Presley wanted to name her egg and she drew a little design on it...I think she is definitely the more caring person in the family!  lol, She went the extra mile.  And I'm sad to say, Addy played with hers and broke it and the only thing she said she learned was "eggs break too easy!"  But actually, isn't that the point exactly? 

So, it's been a crazy week, marked by my being a goof ball and hopefully teaching the kids to learn from MY mistakes!  I think we have so many opportunities, without making mistakes to teach our kids these valuable lessons.  I just hope to do my best.  Let me leave you with one of my favorite verses, nonetheless.  At work, we call this "the Dispatchers Prayer" but again, it seems to scream my name! Col 4:6 "Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one." I hope I have the grace, I know I have the salt and I pray that I can know how to answer each one! 

Thanks for reading!  And have an awesome rest of the week!   

Lola Philpott

This is me at Christmas time with a group that donated money to help buy foster kids Christmas presents!  Lowes, Harding Place and Northstar Ambulance Service were big contributors!  Through a Christmas tree auction, we were able to raise thousands of dollars that helped the White County Foster Parents Association.  As President, I presented the trophies to the top contributors!

Last night I spoke in a video being produced by the White County Bikers for Foster Kids, along with the Christian Motorcycle Association.  They are producing a video in an effort to raise awareness for the need of more foster families in our county as well as support for those we do have.
Our general statistics for White County (Arkansas) are about 100 foster kids and only about 24 foster homes.  The statistics fluctuate of course, but generally speaking, that is the math we have to work with and you can see the equations do not work.
When kids come into care, they come in for physical abuse or neglect and almost all of it is drug related in one way or another.  Sometimes there is sexual abuse. But the abuse is always bad enough, that the only way to save a child is to remove them from the danger.  If there is not a home in White County available, than that child is "shipped" to another county.  Another foster home.  And sometimes an emergency shelter.
Imagine the chaos in a small child's life, in the only home he knows, where the Mama is a drug abuser and alcoholic.  Different boyfriends come and go.  Some are nice.  Some are not so nice.  Lots of people coming and going all hours of the day and night.  There is no bedtime, no bed for that matter, no baths, no stories, and usually, no food.  That's pretty chaotic isn't it?  Now imagine one night, the cops are there, a couple of undercover guys and 2 ladies that you've never seen before, but they keep telling you "everything is ok".  Your Mama gets handcuffed and taken to a police car, along with her boyfriend who is yelling and screaming obscenities at you (for opening the door to the police) and at the cops!  The babies are crying, mostly because their hungry, but also they are scared.  The one lady is picking clothes up off the filthy floor and putting them into a Wal Mart bag and keeps telling you, "we're going to keep you safe." 

Now, this kid comes to your house.  He has been separated from the only Mama he knows (and still loves), torn apart from siblings (the sibling bond is often stronger than that of the parents) and the only house he's ever known.  They come to your house, which is clean, safe and warm.  This may be the first time the child has ever even slept in a bed. If you add sheets and a comforter, you're really stretching things here! :) 

Everything is new at your house.  The food you eat.  They way you eat.  The time you eat. 
One night we had a little boy coming that had been eating out of the dumpster!  He as was 7 years old but weighed far less than Addy did and she is 4 and a normal weight for her age!  For supper that night, I had made meat loaf, individually in muffin tins, mashed potatoes and gravy and peas and carrots. When I got word this little fella was coming, I put him a plate in the oven.  He ate it up when he arrived, but then he said, "Do y'all ever eat chicken nuggets and french fries?"  I laughed and said "Not if I can help it!"  Most these kids, if they get a meal at all, it's usually something that comes in little compartments, out of a frozen box and gets microwaved! (yuk!)
Everything changes. The type of food, the amount of food, meals at regular times, table rules, it's all foreign.  Bedtime routines, routine in general is all things they have to adjust too.  And sometimes, if they adjust well, they may feel like they are forsaking their own parents, maybe their own heritage to adapt to your ways!  That's when you'll notice them regress a little.  This can be a hard time for both the foster family and the foster kid. Add to all these changes, the move to a different county, a different school, different parks, and different people.  If we can keep the kids in our county, at least the surrounding are the same. The same streets, the same schools, the same Wal Mart!  This can help a child adjust to all the other changes he has no control over. 
So, we really need foster homes.  And maybe you've been thinking of fostering, but you're just not quite ready.  Let me tell you how else you can help.
Respite is a type of care that allows you to keep a child anywhere from an over night visit up to a week, I believe. With respite, you usually get a few weeks notice and have time to prepare for an extra kid(s). Respite provides foster families with a much needed break.  Sometimes foster families need a weekend to attend a family funeral or a wedding.  Maybe they are going on a vacation that was booked prior to the foster kid coming.  This gives you a chance to "get your feet wet" and help the foster family and the foster kid!  This is defiantly a win-win!
Emergency care is when you provide a home to a child that has just come into care.  Usually, these are calls you get late at night and you have little or no time to prepare. We took a 16 month old little girl one night that had just come from the emergency room.  She had about a size 10 shoe print on the side of her little bitty face, beneath her curls!  With emergency care, you may keep the child a day or a week, it's up to you.  But you keep the child until a more permanent foster home can be found. 
With all types of care, you choose your own schedule, not DHS.  You decide if and when you foster and for how long.  I usually say, we take about 20 calls before we actually say yes.  There are different reasons, but we just don't say yes all the time. 
We also have certain criteria that we use in keeping any foster kid. The welfare of our own children is paramount and will not be compromised.  First of all, if we have to lay awake at night and wonder if our children are safe, then the foster kid has to be moved.  The second thing is if our children's well being  is or has been in jeopardy, then the foster child has to be moved. These are plain and simple.  No questions asked.  And finally, we always talk it over with our two oldest ones, John (13) and Presley (10) before we take a new placement.  No matter how long or how short the stay is supposed to be, we all must be on board or we will not take a placement.  And we always pray about it.  We pray before we even get a call.  Pray that God will bring the right child into our midst, and so far, he has done a wonderful job.  I would say,with the exception of one very early on, everyone of our kids have been perfect for the time they were with us!  The Lord has blessed us in so many ways. I think you touch these kids if you have them for one day or  one year, or end up making a lifetime commitment, you have the opportunity to love them. You have the chance to change the world.  I know even I can think about to a single incident someone, some teacher, some coach, some person that said something that I carried with me to this day.  A random high school English teacher that said I too, could go to college.  Despite my grades and mischievousness, I believed him.  And did.  And finished-with a Bachelors!  A high school teacher that told me I was different-in a good way.  That I could make a difference.  I believed her and achieved.  That coach that said I had to try harder and work harder-I did.  And learned an ethic.  We can touch these kids.  We can make a difference in White County. Someone is gonna touch these kids-WHY NOT YOU??

For more information on how you can help, call DHS today, in White County,
501-268-8696
or Facebook me 

                                                      3 perfect reasons to foster, right here!

Fight or Flight-a Foster Kid's Response to Love

We had some unexpected turn of events the last few days.  The first was when we lost a foster kid that we cared very much for.  Our teenager left unexpectedly in the middle of the week without so much as a thank you or a goodbye note.  Although, there had been no problems and no "warnings" sometimes teens make decisions that we don't agree with or maybe decisions we don't like.  This past week our foster child made a decision to strike out on her own, via the bedroom window.  We tried to give her options and opportunities, but sometimes these kids only know one way and it has to be difficult to adjust to a way of life that seems so foreign.  If you put yourself in their place, imagine being left by your birth parents.  Can you imagine how it must feel the moment you first realize that your own mother has traded you in for the newest "honey" or the a drug that leaves her unable to parent.  Foster kids experience this at different ages.  Some kids are real young but just notice that every time Mom has a boyfriend, she disappears and a 5 year old is left to care of all the younger siblings.  5 year olds that feed and care for baby brother or baby sister.  5 year olds that change diapers (maybe) and make sure the toddling 2 year old is safe.  Or imagine being in court as a young teenager and having your Mom tell the Judge, "I don't want her."  Or maybe worse yet, how about just being a baby, left in the woods, unattended and left to die....how can you grow up to become an adjusted adult?  How do you grow up and one day decide that its normal to have people care about you.  Have people care about who your friends are, what you eat, what you do and how you do it?  Those are all learned behaviors, y'all, and if these behaviors are never learned, then you do what comes natural.  In the animal kingdom, they call it fight or flight.  I think out teen was left with that alternative and she chose flight.  Flight is easy. The path of least resistance is usually the most heavily travelled road.  If you know nothing else and you are scared, it's so much easier to go out the window.  No goodbyes.  No tears.  No lectures.  I try to put myself in her place but am unable.  My Mom cared.  My family cared.  I was loved, disciplined and held accountable.  I never had to wonder what someone might want from me if I cared about them. I loved and was loved in return. 

And this is how my three kids are raised. Sure, John may have some distant memories.  I hope he never forgets.  But I also hope he feels the same love and comfort and protection that I felt as a child.  I hope he feels a fraction of the security I know Presley feels. And Addy too.  She's the baby that was left to die. She probably (hopefully) has no memories of her past, but I want her to feel secure and loved.  I want her to trust and be trusted.  I want her to have all the same securities and confidence Presley has.  That I had as a child. 

It's a little sad to have a child leave our home like this.  I would almost feel as if I failed, but I know better.  (This is where that confidence comes in) I know that I gave 110% of myself and my family.  At our house, we mean it when we tell kids, "While you're here, you one of us!  You're a kind of Philpott too!"  David tells a lot of kids, we don't have "foster kids" we have "kids."  We tell them "you're one of us!" I know that we provided the material things, shoes, underwear, nice clothes, etc  and I also know that I offered prayer, advice and direction. 

You know what one of the hardest things to explain to a foster kid is?  Is how we can love them when no one else ever has.  How can we proclaim to "love" them when their own biological parents didn't?  I had a 10 year old boy ask us this one night before bed.  I had read him one of those childhood bedtime stories, the 3 Bears or 3 Little Pigs or something. He had never had a bedtime story read to him before.  I was in a race to read him as many as I could, because I didn't know if or when his season would end with us.  I tucked him into bed and David came in to tell  him goodnight.  The little boy asked the million dollar question..."How can you love me if my own Mom and Dad never loved me?"  For once, I was at a loss for words.  I looked to David for guidance.  David took a deep breath and swallowed hard and then he gave the only true answer, "I don't know.  We just do."  We do. We do just love these kids.  All of them.  All of them touch our hearts forever.  I really believe we touch theirs too.  We plant that seed.  We hope that maybe we can water it a little and maybe someone, somewhere down the road can add to that water.  Maybe they'll be lucky enough to go back home someday or be adopted into a forever family.  That little boy was adopted-he's our son. 

Please remember foster kids in your prayers.  Remember the teenage girl we no longer have. And remember all the foster families, the parents, the foster-siblings and those that support us through prayer and other means. 

And I come home and cooked supper...and I'm about to die!

One of my favorite all time movies is Coal Miners Daughter starring Sissy Spacek and Tommy Lee Jones. I loved it as a kid, I've owned it on VHS and now we have it on DVD and I'll watch it on Net Flix when I can!  I love the movie!!  One of my favorite scenes is in scene 3 when Do-Little gets home off a tractor and he walkes in as Loretta is seating the kids in the kitchen and trying to get supper ready.  Like a good husband oughtta, he says, "What'd ya do all day baby?"  She starts serving kids and talking at the same time, "Well I put up 17 quarts of this apple butter...and Do, the dad-gum sink's stopped up again and I spent half the mornin' fixin' that..." she interupts herself to get onto Jack Benny, then continues, "...and you know I had that doctors appoin
tment.  And he said it was false alarm and we better be a whole lot more careful next time..." she gets onto another kid, "...and I come home..." gets onto a kid again, "...and I come home and cooked supper and I'm about ready to die!" The funny part is when she asks how his day was and all he says was "wet." 
I just really identify with that scene.  Today I got up, on my "day off" from the Police Department, at 6am.  Got myself around and woke up the girls.  Left the house by 7ish , dropped off Presley at the church camp bus then dropped Addy off at her daycare.  I been keeping her home with me, sometimes both of my days off, but on days I plan to be with David, I try to reserve that time for me and him and whatever is needed for the business. 
Today began like most my "days off" at Maddie's on the square.  This is where David begins almost everyday, with breakfast and politics.  John was with us this morning, since he works everyday in the summer with his Dad.  We had breakfast and after about an hour of local gossip, business plans on advertising and promotions, and David talking to his head guys on the phone about the days plans, we left to start our day.  We drove in David's Jeep to Lowes, looking for some kind of ladder jack or something one of David's guys thought they needed.  Lowes only had one and David needed two and besides, the service was horrible, so we left and drove down to Cabot to Home Depot.  Got down there, about 30 minutes away, and they only had one!  So we came back and went to another supplier we use frequently, Ridout Lumber and David checked on one of his loads about to go out and got some quick supplies to tide the guys over. 
Drove over to check on a house in the South Wind subdivision that the guys are framing and gave them the supplies they needed.  David always takes a minute to talk to the fella's and offer any advice if needed and then we headed over to Saddle Brooke, where we are building 2 more houses.  In this subdivision we have one house that is about 45 days from completion and another that they are just now pouring for the footers.  The house that is almost done is looking great, as usual for a Philpott Builders Home.  We have a great team, and leader of this part of the team that is finishing out this house is a man named Brandon.  He is very detail oriented and a great team member.  Today he finished the fireplace and we were ooohing and ahhhhing about his work. 

Also, we made contact with our realtor team, Team Merritt, Kathi and David.  They are currently the number one team by the Searcy Board of Realtors in residential sales and have been an awesome help to our business.  They not only sell houses, but offer business advice as well as decorating and building advice as to what sells in the Searcy market.  They came over to check out the progress of the house and a few other little things and we visited for a few minutes. 
After out little meeting at the house "almost ready" David and I walked a few lots down to our other house going up.  Scotty is main most man on the framing and building and David made some changes and clairified some of the plans he had.  David's theory is "measure twice, cut once" so he often rechecks the guys work, even though he trusts them and knows they are doing good work. Philpott Builder homes must be perfect, down to every last detail and David and often I, check things over and over. 
By the time we had ran to 3 different suppliers, had several small meetings with parts of our team, it was time for David to take me back to my vehicle still parked near the downtown square.  But not before we stopped at the house to pick up Michelle who was getting ready herself to go to work at the Sonic. 
Once back in my vehicle, me and Michelle went over to my Mom's to take her some literature David had found her on protecting her home.  We built Mom's house about 3 years ago just outside of Searcy.  She loves it and is always looking for ways to improve her home.
Aftter visiting with Nana, I took Michelle to work.  Dropped her off and made plans to pick her up this evening.  She is saving for a vehcile and while I'll be glad to not to have to play taxi anymore, I will miss our drive time talks.
As I pulled out of Sonic, David called and needed me to meet him at Ace Hardware, wouldn't you know it, clear on the other side of town!  I made my way through traffic, road construction and all that and met him.  Since we were in one place and still for a second, I used that opportunity to plan the nights supper.      We decided on a summer favorite, ham and cheese sandwhiches-but I fix them different than most and I'll explain all that later. That meant now, I had to run to the grocery store. 
Everyone in Searcy knows Harps has the best meats of anyone in town and since it's on the west side of town, I headed there first.  Got what I needed and then, for about the fourth of fifth time today, I hit Beebe Capps and headed east again.  Since I was east, I decided to check the sales at Rue 21. Found John some kinda shirt for school on sale for $4!!  Then went over to Wal Mart and finished my groceries and the weekly home supplies we would all need. 
I drove back west, stopped at Wendy's for a quick bite (jr cheese burger and a coke), made an appointment to get my nails did in a few weeks, took the groceries home and luckily, by now, David and John were home and helped me unload!  The day is almost done.
I still had to pick up Addy from daycare and Presley from the church camp bus.  Got the girls home, fixed supper; and this is how I fix ham 'n cheese...: I use Hawaiian rolls, Land o Frost brown sugar shaved ham and provolone cheese. Then I melt a butter mixture with a little soy sauce and brush it on the rolls.  Top with poppy seeds and bake at 350 just til the cheese is melted.  Our family LOVES these!! I also added some potato salad from the Harps deli and that is what I call supper in the summer time in Arkansas!!
After supper, the kids help clean the kitchen and then went outside to ride Bubba's scooter and play with the neighborhood kids. I did some research for David on some advertising idea's and then, maybe then, I can sit down with David and go over the day..."and I'm about to die!"  Good thing I probably have ADHD!!  I love this life!  I love being busy and having things to do.  I enjoy my "days off" with David when me and him can go ridin' in his Jeep and have time together.  17 years ago when we went ridin' we used to talk about and wonder what our future would be like.  The thing is, we thought we were busy then and all we had were finals and homework!! 

One more thing, that touched me today.  Presley came home from camp and was all excited because they rode horses today at camp and "her" horse, Socks she found out is "blind in one eye! Just like me!!"  That's right, Presley was born with a congenital cataract in one eye and for all intents and purposes she is blind in her right eye.  Yet she plays soccer and goes to camp and does all things you would expect a 10 year old to do! She stays very busy too and she loves Loretta Lynn!!  She is my child!

Thanks for reading and y'all have a great week!!

The Perfect Mom

I took a 911 call today from a very frantic mother this morning at my job as a 911 Dispatcher.  As a Dispatcher we are trained to gather pertinent information and then relay it to a police officer or fireman and get help on the way as soon as possible.  We are also trained to use our voices to calm distressed people.  Besides, most 911 calls are not emergency's.  But, today the mother on the other end was hysterical.  She had locked her 9 day old infant in a vehicle.  I did my job, I calmed her as best I could, got the right information and quickly had the right people on the way to help her. But as I talked to her to reassure her, she said at least a couple times that she was a "horrible mother!"  A "bad mother!"  I tried to explain to her that we all make mistakes.  Heck, I once locked Presley in the car when she was a baby and we lived in north west Arkansas.  I freaked out too!  The babysitter called the local police and even though it was winter and the car was running with the heat on, all I could think about were the "what ifs." But the police were on scene in both instances in mere minutes and in both cases, the baby was fine.  This mother was beside herself all because she made 1 little mistake that actually turned out ok.  The  doors were opened, the baby was safe and all in the cool of an Arkansas morning.  All's well that ends well.  I guarantee you this mother will beat herself up for awhile over this one.  I know I did 10 years ago.  (and I was thinking, 'at least you didn't wait 31 days to report a problem!!)

And then, I know a dear sweet lady, who used to be Presley's kindergarten teacher.  A wonderful person, christian and mother and yet a few weeks ago she was questioning her own parenting skills.  She sweating the small stuff because she is a stay at home Mom, 1 son who is about 4 and a small baby, maybe 6 months old and a husband who works out of town.  Obviously most of her time is occupied by the baby, so she felt neglectful of her young son. Is she a bad parent? Heck no!  Is she neglectful of the older son?? No way!!  She's an awesome mother.  I know this.  But she too questioned her parenting!

I know one Mom that has 3 kids of her own, plus she and her husband foster at least 1 child about half the time, she works out and she helps her husband with his small business.  Her time is spent to say the least.  Sometimes she snaps at her husband and sometimes she snaps at the kids.  She yells and gets frustrated and has even had to apologize to her husband and the kids at times.  Talk about a bad parent!!  Heck, sometimes I have to go back and lighten a punishment or do away with it all together.  Yeah, I make mistakes too!  I get overtired or fussy and there's no time out for Mommy's!! I wish there was!  I try though.  I struggle.  I pray every morning for God to give me the patience and kindness and gentleness needed for my children and husband.  I think all of us parents go through periods where we feel inadequate or not as good as "other parents."  It's kinda the "grass is greener on the other side" syndrome.  If only I had this or I didn't have to do this...but we're all just really trying to do our best.  Be the best Mama and Daddy we can be. That's my prayer as I close my eyes too...help me be the best that I can be.  My only competition as Mama is me.  And I can be my own worse enemy!

Imagine how Moses' Mom felt in the book of Exodus.  She was an Israelite and the King wanted to kill all baby boys.  That included her son.  So she put him in a basket and sent him into a river.  How do you think she felt?  I bet she felt helpless and worthless!! After all, what do you feel like when you are unable to protect you own child?  Can you imagine that the best you can do is put your baby in a basket in the river and that's all you have to offer?? Yet I'm willing to bet that Moses' Mama put thought into her actions and she was then able to care as a "nurse" for her own son.  What a plan!  And I would also be willing to bet that as she helped to raise him, she still lost her temper sometimes and questioned herself the rest of her life if she was really a good parent.  Wow!! And look how her son turned out!  I guess we're all doing pretty dang good!

So, the perfect Mom...what is that?  I asked my 13 year old son that question and he said "someone who listens to you and someone who loves you."  That's all it takes to be "perfect?"  Maybe that's why God gave us two ears to listen and only one mouth for talking. I'm going to work on that.  I do strive to be the perfect Mom, but I'll be fine with "great Mom!"

Thanks for reading! The weekend is upon most of us.  I'll be working, taking 911 calls and my 2 girls come home from camp tomorrow night!  I can't wait to see them.  I've missed Presley tremendously! Michelle's 18th birthday party is Saturday and I want it to be special, so we're doing all we can; Friends, pizza, cake and arcade games....Sunday night church and then finally, my Friday which is actually Monday!  It's crazy, but I own it!
 

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